Lessons for Women from God's Word
A Wise Woman: Lesson #7 Love (Part A)
We learned that, in order for a woman to be a successful as a godly wife, her top priority is her relationship with the Lord and her second priority is her husband. The children come third on the list of priorities, after her husband; fourth, the home; fifth, herself; and last of all, those outside the home. We will not spend time on the third and subsequent categories, as we are mainly seeking in these lessons to learn principles of being a godly wife and a wise home builder. I will say, however, that the most important thing a mother can do for her children is to love their father. Even if the father is unsaved, seeing a mother's love expressed for their father will help the children to feel secure and to see genuine Christ-like love in action.
In all our relationships, our attitude is the key. Ask yourself: Does my husband feel that he is the most important person in my life on this earth? Do my children see how important they are to me? Be careful! Evaluate your attitude from time to time and make sure you are keeping your priorities in order.
1. Have you remembered priority number one? GOD! Being busy doing things for God cannot be substituted for a close personal relationship with God.
2. Are you remembering to put your husband before your children? Take a good look at yourself to be sure that you are not, perhaps subconsciously, putting the children's wants and needs before your husband's.
3. Check yourself to be sure you are not putting outside activities before any of the above. 4. Make sure that you joyfully serve the Lord in these relationships, allowing your life to count for God in the place where God has put you.
In lesson one, we saw that a godly wife, a godly helpmeet, is to be a helper, completer, and companion for her husband. In the last lesson, we talked about a godly woman's love for her husband. How did you do on the assignment at the end of the lesson? It is so important that a woman love her husband, centering her love unselfishly on him, desiring him alone. In Genesis 3:16, when the woman was chastised because of her sin, God said that "....thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee." The word "desire" in this verse means "to stretch out after, to long for; to run after."
Titus 2:5 tells us "That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children," The phrase "love their husbands" is one word in the Greek and means "to be fond of a man, to be affectionate as a wife." According to this verse, loving our husbands is a feeling. However, even though it is a feeling, we are commanded of God to be fond of our husbands, to be affectionate wives. We must choose to obey God in this relationship.
In Song of Solomon 8:6 and 7, as well, we see the word "love" to mean "affection." It has to do with human love for a human object and includes sexual desire. "Set me as a seal upon thine heart, as a seal upon thine arm: for love is strong as death; jealousy is cruel as the grave: the coals thereof are coals of fire, which hath a most vehement flame. Many waters cannot quench love, neither can the floods drown it: if a man would give all the substance of his house for love, it would utterly be contemned."
Actions without Love
Think about the verses you studied in I Corinthians 13. Here we see the word "charity" which means "affection" or "benevolence." According to Webster's Dictionary, benevolence is "the disposition to do good; good will; charitableness; love of mankind, accompanied with a desire to promote their happiness." It is "an act of kindness; good done; charity given." "Benevolence marks a disposition made up of a choice and desire for the happiness of others." The criteria for godly love is unselfishness.
Speech (words of love) without true love is not valid. "Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal." (I Corinthians 13:1)
Service without true love is vanity. "And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing." (v.2)
Sacrifice without true love is unprofitable. "And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not charity, it profiteth me nothing." (v.3)
You may say, "I don't feel affection for my husband. I can't love that man. I just don't have feelings of desire for him. How can any woman love a man who...?" And you go on to enumerate all the faults that you see in your husband. However, when we consider the characteristics in verses 4-7 of I Corinthians 13, we find again that true love, called charity, is not just affection, not just a feeling; it is action. As the meaning of charity or benevolence indicates, love demands a choice. As you make a conscious choice to promote the happiness of your husband through acts of kindness, in obedience to the Lord, and do it joyfully, in time to come, you will find that feelings of affection and desire will also become a part of your love for your husband.
Actions with Love
What acts of kindness should be manifest in your life? Let's look again at I Corinthians 13:4-7. We'll begin, in this lesson, with verse four and conclude this study in the following lessons.
(A) "Charity suffereth long," that is, love has long patience; it suffers a long time; it endures. "And ye shall be hated of all men for my name's sake: but he that endureth to the end shall be saved." (Matthew 10:22) This verse is not talking about the salvation of our souls.
That salvation only comes through repentance and faith in Jesus Christ. It is talking about being saved from our persecutions, from those who trouble us.
(B) "And [charity] is kind," that is, it shows oneself useful, it acts benevolently. See again the meaning of "benevolence" above. "And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you." (Ephesians 4:32)
(C) "Charity envieth not." The root word of envy means "to look with enmity against." It is "discontentment or uneasiness at the sight of another's excellence or good fortune, accompanied with some degree of hatred and a desire to possess equal advantages; malicious grudging." "Envy is a repining at the prosperity or good of another, or anger and displeasure at any good of another which we want, or any advantage another hath above us." (Webster's Dictionary)
"For wrath killeth the foolish man, and envy slayeth the silly one." (Job 5:2)
"A sound heart is the life of the flesh: but envy the rottenness of the bones." (Proverbs 14:30) "Let not thine heart envy sinners: but be thou in the fear of the LORD all the day long." (Proverbs 23:17) In I Corinthians 3:3, we find that envy is a mark of carnality.
(D) "Charity vaunteth not itself," that is, it is not a braggart; it does not boast, extol oneself excessively, or "make a vain [rhetorical] display of one's own worth, attainments, decorations, or the like...." (Webster) This is the only use of this word in the New Testament from its particular Greek origin.
(E) "[Charity] is not puffed up." The root of this idiom is "inflate." It means proud, haughty, full of self-esteem, to bear oneself loftily. This phrase differs in meaning from vaunt in that, vaunt has to do with the mouth (our words), whereas puffed up has to do with the mind (our attitude).
In summary, love, according to verse 4 of I Corinthians 13, is long on patience and endurance, knowing that, in the end, there will be a way of escape, salvation from troubles. Love shows oneself useful to and chooses the happiness of others above oneself.
Love does not become angry, displeased, or discontent, maliciously grudging the advantage another may have above oneself. Love does not boast or brag about oneself, nor does it become inflated with pride or self-esteem, thinking oneself to be better than another.
Applying the lesson: Begin to make acts of kindness a habit. Stop and think about your actions and attitudes toward others each day, particularly toward your husband. Evaluate your actions, and be ready to apologize if your "love" does not measure up to God's standard in I Corinthians 13. Seek God's forgiveness when you fail. Seek His help to truly be a woman who loves her husband with fervent charity.
Some people only know how to make a living. With God as your Father, you can make a life.
Continue memorizing I Corinthians 13:4-8a
(All Scripture verses quoted from KJV)
written by Mrs. Y submitted by Sue C. by permission from Mrs. Y
About the Author
Having been raised in a God-fearing home on the mission field of Papua New Guinea, I accepted Jesus Christ as my Saviour at an early age. My godly mother has taught me many precious things from the Bible, and I long to share some of these things with others.
